Bon Jour !!! Welcome Back!!!! It’s June, the month of May is over. As I shared last month, in reflecting on my life, May historically presents “opportunities for me to grow”. Some change always occurs in my life- big or small- but impactful. By the time June arrives, I have accepted this event, reacted to it, gone through some preliminary planning and am ready for action, in great part because of my friends! Granted I take credit for having the fortitude to get up, dust off and begin again down the road, as I was taught by my Dad… but friends, whether they realize it or not, have held that little nugget of gold- wisdom- inspiration or fuel to get me over the finish line.
The definition of a friend per the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is:
- one attached to another by affection or esteem
- one that is not hostile
- one that is of the same nation, party, or group
- one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
- a favored companion
- capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker
It’s interesting that some folks say they don’t have “friends” at work. That’s fine… but as per above, my scope of people I call friends, is in line with the definition, can be in my personal, professional (or both) worlds (although I’m not sure if I know any Quakers). There are people I have met through professional networks that have become very close friends, great treasures. Another thought that comes to mind is that poem by an unknown author
People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a dificulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author
June is an amazing fun month for me, as generally I become engrossed on my latest May challenge, and wonderful people enter (and exit) my life. This is a year of blessings from lifetime friends. Old friends have been appearing out of nowhere! I don’t know if it’s the effect of the Cicada’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada) . I’ve been running into some of these friends at the grocery store. What makes it bizarre is we’ve been going to the same store for a few years and just never ran into each other… until now. I don’t care why now, I’m thrilled and grateful for many reasons. There’s another wonderful saying.. The best mirror is an old friend. As you go through a challenge, especially if you haven’t seen this friend for a few years, if you’re lucky, an old friend knows you and loves you unconditionally. They see beyond the “current flaws” or missteps and can really serve to remind you of how wonderful (and not so wonderful) you are. As the poem shares.. friendship is clairvoyant- they mysteriously just know what you need and how you need to perceive it. There’s no competition, jealousy, malice…. just pure joy and hope to see you be happy.
Now you may be asking yourself… what does this have to do with managing my career? Darling… everything!!! Whatever you’re doing- It’s all about relationship!!! While there are those folks that love to fancy themselves as loners, we are not islands, we need relationship. Even Michael’s character in Burn Notice, (http://www.usanetwork.com/burnnotice ) a spy, gets by with a lot of help from his friends (and family). Let’s not forget Tom Hank’s character in the movie Cast Away ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162222/ ) had Wilson.
It takes guts to open yourself up, take a chance and be out there… but the reward, richness and return can far outweigh the risk. In helping people in the Career Yenta Boot Camp TM , many people really struggle with networking, whether it’s the connecting through social media, making that connection at or after an in-person networking event, or even in the interview. People really have a tough time with overcoming whatever obstacle they have created for themselves inside their head. The beauty is that once you allow yourself to conquer this hurdle, a wealth of experience can be yours.
I can’t convey to you, the level of exhilaration I feel when I am able to help someone overcome that obstacle, give them that little push. I am genuinely happy for and proud of that person that they pushed themselves to go outside their comfort zone and expand their world.
My Dad used to say… to do the job well, you need the right tools. Beyond old school- bumping into someone at the grocery store, today we have Linked In, Facebook and countless other methods to re connect. You never know what gift or lesson this friend will have for you that will help bring you closer to your goal or increase the quality of your life.
So my hope for you is that you rekindle relationships with old friends, enrich the time with current friends, explore and meet new friends. To have friends, you need to be a friend… so pick up the phone…. Send the email, send the friend request… worst case… it’s bad timing- it’s not your season… Sow the field, plant the seed, water it… care for your garden of friends. When the time is right… you will reap the harvest.
If you find you need help with networking or would like to learn of some books you can read to sharpen your saw… drop me a line, call into the radio show or sign up for a Career Yenta Boot Camp TM .
Feel free to share comments about your great stories of connecting to old colleagues/friends and how they have helped you
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