Bon Jour !!! Welcome Back!!!! It’s June, the month of May is over. As I shared last month, in reflecting on my life, May historically presents “opportunities for me to grow”. Some change always occurs in my life- big or small- but impactful. By the time June arrives, I have accepted this event, reacted to it, gone through some preliminary planning and am ready for action, in great part because of my friends! Granted I take credit for having the fortitude to get up, dust off and begin again down the road, as I was taught by my Dad… but friends, whether they realize it or not, have held that little nugget of gold- wisdom- inspiration or fuel to get me over the finish line.
The definition of a friend per the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is:
- one attached to another by affection or esteem
- one that is not hostile
- one that is of the same nation, party, or group
- one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
- a favored companion
- capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker
It’s interesting that some folks say they don’t have “friends” at work. That’s fine… but as per above, my scope of people I call friends, is in line with the definition, can be in my personal, professional (or both) worlds (although I’m not sure if I know any Quakers). There are people I have met through professional networks that have become very close friends, great treasures. Another thought that comes to mind is that poem by an unknown author
People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a dificulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author
June is an amazing fun month for me, as generally I become engrossed on my latest May challenge, and wonderful people enter (and exit) my life. This is a year of blessings from lifetime friends. Old friends have been appearing out of nowhere! I don’t know if it’s the effect of the Cicada’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada) . I’ve been running into some of these friends at the grocery store. What makes it bizarre is we’ve been going to the same store for a few years and just never ran into each other… until now. I don’t care why now, I’m thrilled and grateful for many reasons. There’s another wonderful saying.. The best mirror is an old friend. As you go through a challenge, especially if you haven’t seen this friend for a few years, if you’re lucky, an old friend knows you and loves you unconditionally. They see beyond the “current flaws” or missteps and can really serve to remind you of how wonderful (and not so wonderful) you are. As the poem shares.. friendship is clairvoyant- they mysteriously just know what you need and how you need to perceive it. There’s no competition, jealousy, malice…. just pure joy and hope to see you be happy.
Now you may be asking yourself… what does this have to do with managing my career? Darling… everything!!! Whatever you’re doing- It’s all about relationship!!! While there are those folks that love to fancy themselves as loners, we are not islands, we need relationship. Even Michael’s character in Burn Notice, (http://www.usanetwork.com/burnnotice ) a spy, gets by with a lot of help from his friends (and family). Let’s not forget Tom Hank’s character in the movie Cast Away ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162222/ ) had Wilson.
It takes guts to open yourself up, take a chance and be out there… but the reward, richness and return can far outweigh the risk. In helping people in the Career Yenta Boot Camp TM , many people really struggle with networking, whether it’s the connecting through social media, making that connection at or after an in-person networking event, or even in the interview. People really have a tough time with overcoming whatever obstacle they have created for themselves inside their head. The beauty is that once you allow yourself to conquer this hurdle, a wealth of experience can be yours.
I can’t convey to you, the level of exhilaration I feel when I am able to help someone overcome that obstacle, give them that little push. I am genuinely happy for and proud of that person that they pushed themselves to go outside their comfort zone and expand their world.
My Dad used to say… to do the job well, you need the right tools. Beyond old school- bumping into someone at the grocery store, today we have Linked In, Facebook and countless other methods to re connect. You never know what gift or lesson this friend will have for you that will help bring you closer to your goal or increase the quality of your life.
So my hope for you is that you rekindle relationships with old friends, enrich the time with current friends, explore and meet new friends. To have friends, you need to be a friend… so pick up the phone…. Send the email, send the friend request… worst case… it’s bad timing- it’s not your season… Sow the field, plant the seed, water it… care for your garden of friends. When the time is right… you will reap the harvest.
If you find you need help with networking or would like to learn of some books you can read to sharpen your saw… drop me a line, call into the radio show or sign up for a Career Yenta Boot Camp TM .
Feel free to share comments about your great stories of connecting to old colleagues/friends and how they have helped you
If you would like to check out the radio show from this past week:
If you would like to enroll for a Career Yenta Boot CampTM session or sponsor a friend or loved one or previous employees as outplacement:
Give us a call- join us at boot camp!
Career Yenta TM
Yesterday’s news shared that “Yuichiro Miura, an 80-year-old Japanese mountaineer who became the oldest person to reach the top of Mount Everest last Thursday, almost died on the descent. While he currently doesn’t have plans of another climb of the world’s highest peak, he will be doing plenty of skiing.”
I love this story!! How many times have you told yourself, you can’t do something, it will never happen, or I’m too old??? It’s easy to come up with excuses as to why you can’t, or how things won’t work or to let other people scare you and make you believe the negative. Granted, you can’t rely on wishing something to happen – expecting it to magically occur. Don’t get me wrong- I encourage people often to wish, dream big and think positive… but the real magic comes from ACTION! Miracles happen when you’re putting yourself out there and trying. You may fail 5 times, 10 times, 100 times… but with each failure, you have the opportunity to learn, to grow, to improve! Some call this character building. I like to think of it as true grit – guts- POWER!!! The secret sauce to success is staying humble and open to learn from others and realize you can’t do it alone or just for yourself. Sometimes you need a little help and sometimes you need to consider the greater good. It doesn’t diminish your success by any means. We can see and learn from each of these elements in Mr. Miura’s story. Last week he was quoted in this article: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/japanese-climber-80-year-old-man-becomes-oldest-atop-mount-everest-052213 ,
“On his expedition’s website, Miura explained his attempt to scale Everest at such an advanced age: “It is to challenge (my) own ultimate limit. It is to honor the great Mother Nature.”
He said a successful climb would raise the bar for what is possible.
“And if the limit of age 80 is at the summit of Mt. Everest, the highest place on earth, one can never be happier,” he said.”
I’m overwhelmed and inspired on multiple levels!!! It’s not just the fact that he’s done this at 80, but here is a man that is constantly upping the bar!!! Based on his comments, I don’t doubt that he will top this!
I’m humbled by Mr. Miura’s story as he is constantly striving to improve and “honor the great Mother Nature.” It changes my perspective on not only achieving a goal, but forcing me to ask, what is my intention- what is the purpose- what is the value- who is honored and benefits from the achievement of my goal? Achievement could grow to not only include yourself but the world or universe at large!!!! Honestly- if Mr. Miura is doing this at 80, we all have NO excuse to NOT overcome the obstacles to get to the summit of our own personal Mt. Everests!!!!
So what does your Mt. Everest look like? What can you do to break down the tasks to success into achievable bites? (I’m sorry- I can’t help thinking of that joke- How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…You were warned- I apologized in advance). Can you change the scope to include a benefit for others- for the world or universe at large?
If you’re having a challenge in making that breakthrough in your job search or career management- give us a call- sign up for a Career Yenta Boot CampTM – reach out and let G45 Consulting or the Career Yenta TM help you!!!
Career Yenta TM
Personally and professionally I have a bittersweet relationship with the month of May! Yes the entire month of May. In review of my career and life many major milestones and changes occur. It’s exciting to embrace change, but scary. These are normal feelings experienced by anyone in any phase of transition. As I’ve learned (whether I wanted to or not), is the universe has a way of trying to help you achieve your desires and the lessons you’re supposed to learn… whatever you think about, whatever you need, happens or appears. It’s how you respond that dictates your next phase.
I recently met a friend that I hadn’t seen in close to 17 years for drinks. It was honestly like no time passed and we readily fell into old jokes and stories. It was great! Then I asked “Are you happy?” While, there had been a long list of accomplishments, joys and successes experienced by this dear friend… the response – a timid quiet pensive “yes” caught me a bit by surprise. I was expecting a booming “hell yeah!” I sensed this longing, like something was missing. I share this with you because I felt it was echoed in the powerful messages Arianna Huffington shared in her commencement speech at Smith College. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/19/arianna-huffington-smith-college-commencement-speech_n_3299888.html I encourage you to read it in it’s entirety as the entire speech is entertaining, insightful and inspiring. Here are some segments I found to be especially impactful:
“But it’s time for a third metric, beyond money and power — one founded on well-being, wisdom, our ability to wonder, and to give back. Money and power by themselves are a two legged stool — you can balance on them for a while, but eventually you’re going to topple over. And more and more people, very successful people, are toppling over. Basically, success the way we’ve defined it is no longer sustainable. It’s no longer sustainable for human beings or for societies. To live the lives we want, and not just the ones we settle for, the ones society defines as successful, we need to include the third metric.”
“What adding well-being to our definition of success means is that, in addition to looking after our financial capital, we need to do everything we can to protect and nurture our human capital. My mother was an expert at that. I still remember, when I was twelve years old, a very successful Greek businessman coming for dinner. He looked rundown and exhausted. But when we sat down to dinner, he told us how well things were going for him. He was thrilled about a new contract he had just won to build a new museum. My mother was not impressed. “I don’t care how well your business is doing,” she told him bluntly,” you’re not taking care of you. Your business might have a great bottom line, but you are your most important capital. There are only so many withdrawals you can make from your health bank account, but you just keep on withdrawing. You could go bankrupt if you don’t make some deposits soon.” And indeed, not long after that, the man had to be admitted for an angioplasty.
When we include well-being in our definition of success, another thing that will change is our relationship with time. Researchers have come up with a term for our stressed out feeling that there’s never enough time for what we want to do — they call it “Time Famine.” Every time we look at our watch it seems to be later than we think. I personally have long had a very strained relationship with time – more in line with a certain PhD from Oxford, in English Lit, actually — Dr. Seuss.”
I was blessed with a mother who was in a constant state of wonder. Whether she was washing dishes or feeding seagulls at the beach or reprimanding overworking businessmen, she maintained her sense of wonder, delighted at both the mysteries of the universe and the everyday little things that fill our lives. And whenever I’d complain or be upset about something, my mother had the same advice: “Darling, change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don’t replay the bad, scary movie.”
One of the gifts this attitude to life gave her was the ability to cut through hierarchies. One night, when I was in my twenties and still living in London, a Tory member of Parliament I was dating at the time (it might have been one of those decisions brought on by sleep deprivation) had brought the Prime Minister Edward Heath to dinner. My mother was in the kitchen, where she could be found most of the time, talking to the plumber, who had come to fix a last-minute problem. She asked the plumber what he thought of the prime minister. “Not much,” he said, “he hasn’t been good for working people.” “Let me go bring him here so you can tell him directly,” my mother replied. And that’s how the prime minister ended up in the kitchen talking to the plumber.”
“So please don’t settle for just breaking through glass ceilings in a broken corporate system or in a broken political system, where so many leaders are so disconnected from their own wisdom that we are careening from one self-inflicted crisis to another. Change much more than the M to a W at the top of the corporate flow chart. Change it by going to the root of what’s wrong and redefining what we value and what we consider success.
And remember that while there will be plenty of signposts along your path directing you to make money and climb up the ladder, there will be almost no signposts reminding you to stay connected to the essence of who you are, to take care of yourself along the way, to reach out to others, to pause to wonder, and to connect to that place from which everything is possible. “Give me a place to stand,” my Greek compatriot Archimedes said, “and I will move the world.”
So find your place to stand — your place of wisdom and peace and strength. And from that place, lead the third women’s revolution and remake the world in your own image, according to your own definition of success, so that all of us — women and men — can live our lives with more grace, more joy, more empathy, more gratitude, and yes, more love. And now, Smith College class of 2013, onward, upward and inward!”
Great stuff!!!! We all have that place, no matter where we are in our lives, no matter what stage, what history, what hardship… we all have the power to “Change the Channel” and to connect to that place from which everything is possible.
Believe and be happy!
Feel free to reach out to the Career Yenta- let us help you shorten your time in transition or make that move to the career that inspires you. Join us for the Career Yenta BootcampTM!
In watching the Kentucky Derby this past weekend, it may seem a bit odd, but I couldn’t help think of the similarities between the Kentucky Derby and interviewing. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy and admire the ambiance, the tradition, the excitement and beauty of the race, and mean no disrespect. If anything, I see it as an opportunity to learn and be inspired!!!!
- Especially in this competitive market – only the champions are invited to both the Kentucky Derby and the interview. So many times, I’ve had candidates share they are completely frustrated because they are getting interviews and not getting the job. What can you learn from this? While it is frustrating, stay positive and change your focus. Commend yourself for getting the interviews. You are doing something right to have that opportunity and should focus on what you can do different before and after the interview to ensure you are the winner at your next interview. Here’s where working with a coach can possibly give you that bit of information that you don’t see while you’re running the race.
- The Kentucky Derby is known as the most exciting two minutes in sports. While an interview can (and hopefully does- for good reasons) continue for longer than two minutes, your first impression is made in the first two minutes of your interview. While you should never judge a book by its cover, it’s difficult to turn that perception around. What can you learn from this? Put your best foot forward, be respectful to everyone, dress to impress, look your best, arrive early, relax and smile.
- The world is small and many of the horses and jockeys have raced against eachother before and will run together again and again. One of the things I admire about the Derby is that it’s gentlemanly, rich with respect for others. You don’t really hear about trash talk in the press. What can you learn from this? Your career community is very small. Treat others well and network. As you land, there may be opportunities that after you land, may be a great fit for someone else. Share! It may come back to you one day.
- Networking has its benefits. There’s an area known as “Millionaire’s Row” at the Derby that features elegant seating, Macallan 15-year whisky tastings and an amazing view above the finish line. What can you learn from this? The same skills you use to network into a position, can help you stake your claim to this tony Derby real estate.
- While there is only one winner, your performance may be remembered and create another opportunity for you. There’s no better feeling than winning. The true test of character is showing the resilience to come back as many times as possible until it’s your time to be in the winner’s circle. What can you learn from this? Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we don’t understand why we didn’t get that job. Sometimes, you can give it your all, but it just wasn’t right. Don’t beat yourself up. Learn from it, evaluate to see what you can do better and believe that this no, is putting you closer to your yes. Stay positive, have faith, continue to hone your craft, train, practice, practice practice and believe!!!!
Feel free to reach out to the Career Yenta- let us help you shorten your time in transition. Join us for the Career Yenta BootcampTM!
As some of you may know, I recently started to co-host a radio show “Your Career is Calling” on the Rider University Radio station Sunday Mornings at 8 am. You can access it a few ways such as FM radio 107.7, 1077thebronc.com, (you can listen live or to the archives – click on the web site and go to “Your Career is Calling” and then show archives), or the free apps for iPhone. This past week I was hosting alone, as my co-host Frank Kovacs was under the weather, and I discussed the effect and power of positive thinking. Yesterday in the NY Times, there was an article about this Nobel Prize winning scientist Dr. Elizabeth Blackburn that has been pursuing a new venture that some “researchers have raised doubts about the usefulness of the measurement, which does not diagnose a specific disease.” “At issue is a lab test that measures telomeres, stretches of DNA that cap the ends of chromosomes and help keep cells from aging too soon. Unusually short telomeres may be a sign of illness, and Dr. Blackburn, who shared the 2009 Nobel Prize in medicine for her work on telomeres (TEEL-o-meers), thinks measuring them could give doctors and patients a chance to intervene early and maybe even prevent disease. A company she helped found expects to begin offering tests to the public later this year.”
Later in the article it is revealed: “ Unusually short telomeres may indicate a health problem, and are a piece of information that should be factored into the bigger picture of a person’s health, she said. “If you’re in the lowest percentile for your age group, you might really be interested in knowing why,” she said. “It’s something physicians would be interested in, for just that reason.”
“There are ways to protect telomeres, and maybe even lengthen short ones, Dr. Blackburn said. Exercise and a nutritious diet, losing excess weight and easing emotional stress may help. So, a low reading might be a wake-up call to take better care of oneself.
In managing your career, especially during the period of transition, you need to be your best you!!!! What’s challenging is, that you may be experiencing feelings where you don’t really feel your best. As I shared on Sunday, sometimes, your mood can change, just by smiling.. what I call “fake it till you make it”. While outwardly, people and things can drive change in how you feel in that moment, only you are in control of how you conduct yourself or feel. If you are feeling negative, look inward for that strength and courage, you know you are capable of having self-belief. Choose to believe in yourself and you’ll reap great rewards.
Years ago, a dear friend told me: “No one cares more about what happens to you than you.” This friend doesn’t realize it, but it has carried me through quite a few tough times. While I love to believe everyone is altruistic in their motives and offering to help, at the end of the day, it’s all up to you. I like to couple this statement with one of my favorite quotes “Whatever you think, you’re right.” Henry Ford. This quote speaks brilliance- and echoes that it’s all up to you. Whether you choose to be positive or negative about a situation, you’re right. The outcomes may be different, but what you chose to focus and think about, all drove the universe to support your thoughts… and you’re right. Personally, I try to remain positive. I know from personal experience when you are getting bombarded with challenge after challenge, it’s very difficult to keep the course and remain optimistic. Sometimes I fail miserably, but as my Dad always said… get up, dust yourself off and keep going!
I think it’s fascinating and concerning to realize the effect of stress and negativity on the body and to life in general. What you focus on you attract more of. What’s exciting and encouraging is that you can change your course and make a difference going forward!!
If you would like to read more about Dr. Blackburn, here’s the article link: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/09/science/elizabeth-blackburn-molecular-biologist-charts-her-own-course.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
If you would like to check out the radio show from this past week:
If you would like to enroll for a Career Yenta Boot Camp session or sponsor a friend or loved one or previous employees as outplacement:
Give us a call- join us at boot camp!
Opening Day for the 2013 season made me recall a conversation with a friend, it made me think of how much a little extra effort, mere inches, can yield such a big return. We were waiting for a baseball game to begin and he was reviewing the stats of the players for each team as they appeared on the big screen in the ball park. It was almost as if he were thinking aloud walking through his analysis comparing the salary of a player with a batting average of x with that of y. He logically proceeded to calculate that if ball player x increased his batting average by 10 over the season, it could translate to as much as $1 Million to $1.5 Million a year in salary.
This made me think about how I could help candidates share their story to prospective employers. As a professional career matchmaker, the Career Yenta TM , I need to learn as much as I can from the candidate. So many times, as we meet, I hear the laundry list of requirements they have for their next role. As there has been a steady progression, people expect that their experience should warrant more. I strongly believe that people should live their positive vision. The challenge, especially in this economy is, there is great competition for a single role, hence, while in the old world, the direct correlation could be there between experience and salary, in our brave new world, candidates need to develop metrics and show a progression of increased value – you need to stand out. Just as a ball player sharpens his saw by training enhancing his craft, we as professionals need to continue to grow and adapt to the needs of the market place. This is especially true if you are in job search mode. Just like a baseball player- your stats, like skills, salary, length of time in an organization are measured and evaluated. What are you doing to stand out and get noticed and make yourself a leader of the pack of competitors for your job? Tweaking of small little details that you may not even think about could make the difference to get you into your next role. Are you tired of sending resume after resume into the “black hole” with no response? Does your job search feel stale? Do you feel unmotivated and frustrated? Join me for a boot camp! Spring is here! Time to shed that winter baggage – do some mental spring cleaning and gear up to re-energize your passion for your career or a new you in a new job- let us help bring you closer to your yes.
Give us a call- join us at boot camp!